| School's out the nights roll in, man just like an old long lost friend... |
[Tuesday
May 23, 06 | 12:38pm] |
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summertime - kenny chesney |
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well wow.
junior year = over.
i can't believe it!
this year actually flew by. as much as i hated teachers, homework, and grades, this year was by far the best of high school. i guess that's how high school is supposed to be? it gets better every year? because you slack off more and more? i don't know...but hopefully senior year will be able to top this past one...which i'm sure it will.
i guess it's time for that end of the year recap my whole past year etc entry.
well...what can i say? it's been busy...but fun. this year has been full of "firsts". i've had my first real relationship...(still going! :) 9 months in june..), first job, first real trip with my friends, a lot of them.
and it's been a blast.
i didn't try out for cheerleading for next year. and you know what? i'm glad i didn't. today i saw the cheerleaders wearing the uniform that i wore last year, and i was just relieved. i was relieved that i didn't have to cheer, to be instantly judged, to just be another student around school. weather you like it or not, that uniform attracts attention. now weather or not that is good attention, is your call...but i don't like it when i have people constantly looking, watching what i do. it makes me uncomfortable. i like to be able to wear what i want, when i want..yakno? i can't wait next year to be a senior in the stands, paint my stomach, do the pushups, have tailgates, roadtrips, and everything else that comes along with the senior package. it'll be a blast. and i can't wait.
my whole friends groups have shifted completely this past year. after lacrosse season, i really just narrowed down my friends to a couple. i have kyle, who is my best friend, i tell everything to and stuff like that, then i have michelle and lauren...who wow...they're just amazing. then i have friends such as kaitlin and bronwen, who are just so much fun to hang out with and awesome ( which i can't wait for snowbird :)) and a few others. i still have my "high school" friends, which i hang out with every once and a while, but not quite as much as i used to. it's just been a huge change this year, and it's nice to know that senior year, i'll be able to have as much fun as i want with these girls and guys and know that they're my friends.
i guess this whole year has been a change not only in school, but in my family also. i mean with my dad moving out and becoming a complete asshole, things have changed a little in my family to say in the least. but when it all comes down to the wire, i'm glad he's gone. my mom is such a cooler person now that she's not trying to be the wife my dad wants her to be, and granted i've taken on more jobs/ responsibilities, such as mowing the lawn, changing the oil in the cars and whatnot, but i'm glad for the change.
i went to kyle's graduation this year. and wow. it just all hit me like a ton of bricks. i couldn't believe that the next graduation i would attend, would be my own. with my friends. i couldn't even imagine how it would feel to know that it's all over...i mean today didn't even feel like the last day of school...imagine how it would be walking out of graduation. knowing that we'll never have another senior class 2007. that the people we've been with for the past 4 years are all the sudden splitting and going every which way. we don't know where we're going to end up, but we certianly won't all be together. it just blew my mind. it's just hard to believe that next year, at this time, we will have been graduated for two weeks or more.
this year i got a job. ha. yes. a job. i'm a hostess at beef o bradys. sounds glamorous doesn't it? well it's a helluva lot harder to find a job than i'd imagined. i thought supermarkets always needed help...but i guess not. maybe they just didn't like me. oh well. screw it. so yes, now i work at beef o bradys, and i mostly bus tables and stuff like that. i'm really not fond of my work schedule right now, but hey i just started sunday, so i can't expect much. it just kind of sucks that i have to work on my birthday :(. oh well. i will be working the late shift (6-11), so at least i get to spend the day with kyle.
my birthday! ahh is friday! besides the fact that i'm working, i'm really looking foward to it. kyle has something planned for me and i've got no idea what it is. since his mom's birthday is the same day as mine, him and his dad have something planned. we're clueless...but i want to know! i'm excited :). i'll be 17 finally. rated r movies here i come :). just in time for the omen to come out! yay.
well i guess that's all for my update right now
i hope everyone has a fantastic summer, and
i'll seeyall next year.
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| i've tried to make some sense, of all these things, i feel inside... |
[Friday
Mar 10, 06 | 11:55am] |
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music |
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head over heals - rascal flatts |
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alright wow...been a long time since i have updated.
i havn't really had a need to use livejournal to write my thoughts down because between kyle and my written journal, all my thoughts get voiced. but i figure there is a need to let others know what's going on in my head sometimes. and i guess now is one of those times.
things are going pretty good in my life, when you look at everything all together, some things i wish could be going better, and then some things are perfect. i don't know, i must wish at least once every day that i could just run away and get away from everything, go move to the bahamas and just live there with kyle for the rest of my life..then reality hits me, and i know it'll never happen.
things with my family are going better, me and my mum are getting a lot closer, and she's turned out to be really cool since she's not with my dad anymore. my dad, i don't even know where to start with him. he doesn't act like my dad he only really talks to me about lacrosse, and tells me to keep staying in shape to play it and how i need to go to the gym and work out to get better and i should have scored more in the last game, i need to up my playing strategy and everything. i just get sick of it. it just seems like whatever i do in the sport, it's not good enough for him. i scored 6 goals one game. and on the phone later that night, he talks about the 3 penalty shots i missed but could have had, and how i need to work on those. seriously, can't you just be happy for me?
but i could go on forever about family issues.
friends- wow. this year has been a breakthrough for me. i'm having a great time. i've begun hanging out with people from lax, and a few others, and beleive me. i've never been more comfortable, or laughed so hard with friends. for the past 2 years, i never felt like i fit in with who i hung out with, and that's not their fault, it's just not how i am, and right now, i feel like i just fit with who i'm hanging with. i no longer worry about what i look like at school, or who's looking at my outfit and critizing it, because i've given up on caring what others think of me in that department. and i feel great. i have friends now that i can talk to, and are always here for me when they say they are, and i don't have to worry about anyone "spilling the beans" on stuff that is important to me.
love - this is another department in my life, that is going fabolous. kyle has been everything anyone could ask for, and everything i need. he knows when to be serious, when to joke around, when to just sit there and listen to me talk, everything. i love him, and he's perfect for me. it's been over 6 months, and it has FLOWN by, but i feel like i've known him forever. he's seriously my other half, and if you've never been in love, you cannot understand what that feels like, but i can't imagine my life or going a single day without him there by my side. i love you kyle ♥
school - blah. i hate school.
lacrosse - i have mixed feelings here. i wish wish wish wish WISH our team could pull together and win some games. at least maybe ONE more! so we can show everyone..our friends, family, athletic directors, other schools, everyone that we can actually play. i want to have a lacrosse team next year, and if we don't have an alright season, it makes our chances slimmer every game we lose. we've been SOOO close on 2 games, and if we would have just stuck it out and pushed those last 5 minutes, we could have won, and beat an UNDEFEATED TEAM. how crazy would that have been? a FIRST year team beats an undefeated team? i don't know. i love the sport, and i love being on the field, but when i'm out there, some of the people that coach lef puts out, it seems sometimes they don't care as much as they should, and have just grown used to losing. that isn't how it should be! we need to look at every game like it's our first, and i don't know, maybe i'm just blabbing too much, seasons almost over, and we can beat colonial i just know it, but we have to work as a team...
i'm excited spring break is here. i'm leaving monday through saturday to go to myrtle beach south carolina with michelle and lauren. i can't wait. i can't wait to leave apopka. i wish kyle could go though. i will miss him terribaly..
i guess that's it for now.
just had to get how i was feeling out.
♥
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| hahah memoriess |
[Monday
Jan 30, 06 | 9:55pm] |
johnny, garrett, and me in kindergarden. woww....
me and kaitlin at snowbird two summers ago!!
hahahahahahahahahaha
man.
good memories.
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| santa baby, i want a yaht, and really that's not...a lot... |
[Sunday
Dec 04, 05 | 5:54pm] |
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none - at my dads. |
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alright, time for another long update.
well this weekend was funfilledpacked. haha.
thursday - school, then home. kyle came and met me, my mom and becca up at target to pick out our christmas tree! he had never done that before. i was excited i love picking out a christmas tree...they smell soo good :) anyhow, we brought that back to the house and semi decorated it and such then me and kyle watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." the new one. i love that movie. Johnny Depp is AMAZING.
friday - school, lacrosse pratice, wallyworld with michelle. ha. we have so much fun there. we get the most random assortment of items anywhere we go. well after that i went home and chilled and decorated the tree some more, then michelle picked me up. we went to camerons bonfire and stayed there with all the cool kids for a good while. until michelle spilled the marshmellows in the fire and we had to get more. so then i thought it'd be cool to light one on fire on a stick and fling it around in a torch like manner..but the flame went out. so i had the brilliant idea of sticking 8 on a stick because, more fire, the longer lasting. well one ended up flying off in a meteor like way, landing on my hoodie and before i could do anything, tucker was slapping my arm where the meteor landed and caught his hand on fire. it was a freak show. but that was fun. then we left around 1 and went back to michelles, made our lax sticks pretty cool looking, figured out we're from planet senke, watched a "next" marathon and went to bed around 330. haha
saturday - woke up at like 9:30, met kaitlin, bronwen and kyle up at dennys. it was me and kyle's 3 month :) i was so happy he was there. so we initiated kyle into the "dennys club", ate some breakfast, did our traditional "buy a water at chevron", and we were off to the game. it was a great game! we actually won!!(7-6) and i scored a goal. it was soo much fun!! well afterward, kyle took me back to my house so i could get showered and changed and whatnot, and then we went back to his house and watched a movie and fell asleep. we woke up around 7:30, got dressed for his "suprise" and he started taking me to some place. he had kept this a secret for about a week, and i was DYING to know. so we pull into Seasons 52, and had a perfect dinner. it was amazing. i couldn't stop smiling, it was so perfect. i was completely suprised and i loved every second of it. afterward we went back to his house and hung out then he took me home. i had an amazing time with him, and it was something so thoughtful i'll never forget it. i love him.
today - woke up, went to church, dad took me and becca. we went to target and got some christmas decorations for his condo and our tree and whatnot, and went and saw the movie "yours, mine and ours". cute movie, but not really great. some hott guys in it though :). anyway. then we dropped bec off at cheer corp, and me and my dad went to sports authority. he bought a lax stick so he could pratice with me! :) yay. and i mentioned i needed cleats, and he bought me a pair. so that was a nice suprise. so after that, we went and got a christmas tree, then picked up becca. now it's all decorated and we're just chillen until dinner's ready.
i have SO much homework, and i have to do it tonight. considering i can't use DNN tomorrow cause i have to start and finish my major story. shit. i'm screwed :) haha oh well i don't care. i had an amazing weekend, it was perfect. i wish i could have seen kyle more, but i can't do anything about that. i'm going to miss him so much when he's away for 2 weeks over christmas break...wow. that really sucks... i guess i have to get used to it though... :\
21 days until christmas!! :D
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| all i want for christmas is YOU :) |
[Sunday
Nov 27, 05 | 12:16pm] |
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all i want for christmas is you - mariah carey |
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alright, well life has been going pretty good for me lately.
i guess you could say i've become more responsible? i don't know. maybe
not in my school work, but with more important stuff such as
friendships and relationships with people. whatever.
i've realized something. i had an epiphany. (dane cook) lol. well. i realized i'm not good at all at expressing my feelings. like, at ALL. i think that's why i like music so much.
it allows me to say what i want and what i'm feeling using other
peoples words. so if you really want to know how i'm feeling, look what
i'm listening to and what the lyrics are saying. i figured out that
when i'm happy and in love i listen to a million love songs, when i'm
missing someone, i listen to emo songs, and so on and so forth. so if i tell you to listen to a song or something, usually it's how i'm feeling or how i feel about you.
that's all i have to say about that.
well. this weekend was the best ever. thanksgiving was eh. oh well...it
was a little akward away from my mom and older sister, but i guess we
are "starting new traditions"? hmm.. my aunt tried talking to me about
the divorce but she had too much wine and started on the subject of me
and boyfriends. when she found out he was a senior, she told me i need
to "break up with him when he leaves, because honey, you could never compete with those college girls."
i guess you could say that was a nice slap in the face? hmm. he talks
to me about that a lot...and though it will be hard, i couldn't imagine
ending what we have just because he goes away. but...we've still got 7
months to go before we have to deal with that :)
lacrosse is really starting to take off for apopka. :) haha it's so
much freaking fun. i love it. we get our hoodies and shirts either
tomorrow or tuesday! like i need any more apopka clothes.
oh well. it's fun :) and it's an easy way to be a bum at school. we
have our third game saturday, time = tba. i'm sure we'll find out at
pratice tuesday. i really can't wait until school season starts up!! i
love everyone playing it. it's awesome. and quite a workout might i add
;)
well, that's all for now.
i love everyone ♥
[[edit]]
there seems to be some confusion with the friends issue on my last
entry. if you were hurt by it, i'm sorry, and i didn't make the section
to any one person. if you don't do that, then you know it and so do i,
and it wasn't to you. the people who it was about, know it.
|
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| Wake up, everyone around you, lets rock until the clock strikes two. |
[Monday
Nov 14, 05 | 7:28pm] |
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things we go through - hawk nelson |
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alright. i feel like updating. once again.
i'm on a flippin roll.
well this week is going to go by terribly slow.
today pretty much sucked.
GOOD NEWS THOUGH
i got a car.
yes.
a car.
and i actually like it. so yay for me.
:) and no. i'm not going to wreck it.
so everyone shut up lol.
________________________
well, cheerleading is over.
not sure if i'm going to do it next year or not, but i don't know. it'd
kind of feel like i left something incomplete not goin for 4 years, but
there is a lot of stuff i would miss out on senior year that i'm not
sure is worth missing. but i won't have to make that decision until
may. this season had it's ups and downs, but it was all worth it in the
end. i got a lot closer with certian people, got to know some of the
senior girls a little better, and make a friendship with a particular
person that will last a lifetime.
________________________
and on another note. lacrosse = amazing.
yes, i know i wrote about this last entry, but i love it. and yes i did
just start playing, but it's so much fun. i never thought i'd have fun
in a sport where the main thing is running. but i do. and i've already
gotten in so much better shape. last week i ran about 6 miles. craziness. and yes (all you cross country runners, i know you can run that in a day, but i'm proud) we have our second game this saturday at 10, against lake brantley!! everyone should come out and support us. it's actually really fun to watch.
________________________
this year is FLYING
by. it's crazy. i can't believe it's already november. exams are almost
freaking here. i'm not at all ready!! it's insane to know that next
year at this time, half of my senior year will be gone. and i'll almost be done with high school.
________________________
i dread the thought of him leaving for college. it seems to be all i
can think about. i hate it, and i try to push the thought from my mind,
but i can't help it. sometimes i think: why am i dating him, he's just going to leave? but then i spend even 5 minutes with him and realize that there's no way i could be without this guy. it's just going to break my heart,
him leaving. i hate bringing this up too because he just tells me that
everything will work out if i stay with him, but i mean, i've seen so
many movies, read so many magazine articles, and heard numerous stories
of how college guys just play their girlfriends they leave at home. i
can't imagine him doing that, but the thought never leaves my mind.
blah. oh well. i guess i'll deal with that when the time comes..
________________________
this year has changed me. A LOT. i've started
hanging out with people because i want to. not because they're in a
certian "click". i remember when i heard someone tell me, "i really don't like ______ and ______ and if they weren't in our click i wouldn't hang out with them". that really opened my eyes. WHY
am i hanging out with people that i feel akward around? through
lacrosse, and other things, i've started hanging out with different
people, and let me tell you, i've never been happier. i have people who
like to hang out with me for ME.
not because of what i wear, or who i hang out with. i think that's why
i stopped drinking. yes i had fun, at times...but it was more of just,
everyone i hang out with is doing it, why not? i'm different and above
that. i don't need drugs to get high ;)
________________________
so yes, another random yet thoughtful entry by kristen nicole menke.
until next time...
i love everyone♥
These are the things we go through
Let's take control and be ourselves
Let's not waste time wondering about
How were gonna make it out.
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| i look at him, he looks at me, he's got me thinking about him constantly, i'm crazy for this guy. |
[Monday
Nov 07, 05 | 5:22pm] |
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crazy for this girl - evan and jaron |
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alright.
time for one of those long..meaningful updates.
things have been going good for me lately.
i have fallen in love.
yes.
love.
i've never been happier with a guy.
he's amazing.
i get poetry, thoughtful texts and voicemails, just little things
that let me know he cares. it makes me feel really special, and i love
being with him.
lacrosse has officially started. i freaking love this sport. i just
started playing it, but seriously, i've never been so excited about a
sport. i ran a MILE today! amazing.i love the feeling of
getting into better shape.i kind of have to though, cause i run all
over the place playing midfield. our games are saturdays, and after
fall ball, the school season starts up! and i'd better see everyone at the games :)
my grades could be better, but i won't go there.
lol i'm ready to quit school. not sports, but just school.
football game vs winter park this friday.
At winter park. should be fun! i get to see all my church friends,
which is exciting, cause we don't play them in regular season. i wish i
could go to the edgewater/east ridge game though, that should be a
really good game.
i counted the days that i've gone without alcohol today. 124.
and you know what? it feels amazing. knowing that i don't need alcohol
to have a good time, i don't know, to me i just feel great. and plus, i
don't need the fat that comes with drinking beer. ew.
things have been going better with my parents divorce. my dad has moved
out, and everything is starting to get settled. hopefully i'll be
getting a car this week. this whole ordeal has caused me to grow up a
lot. i have taken on more responsibilities around the house,
emotionally, and everything. sometimes i just feel helpless at the
situation, but everything happens for a reason. i can't get too down
about it, because there are always people that are much worse off than
i am. or will ever be.
i doubt anyone will actually read this whole thing, but...oh well. i felt like updating.
i love everyone
♥
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| the bordom has taken over. |
[Tuesday
Oct 11, 05 | 8:12pm] |
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So much - Spill Canvas |
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8 Firsts...
First Best Friend(s): i think brittany collins
First Kiss: garrett guthrie
First Screen Name: lilangel7744. i was cool.
First Pet: midnight (my hampster) RIP<3
First Piercing: My Ears
First Crush(s): garrett guthrie
First CD: i think backstreet boys
7 Lasts...
Last Cigarette: never smoked a full ciggerette. i've only taken a little puffer. which was over 2 years ago.
Last alcoholic beverage: sometime in june
Last Car Ride: on the way home with beary tonight from powderpuff
Last Kiss: saturday from kyle :)
Last Movie Seen: Interview with a Vampire
Last Phone Call: robert beary
Last CD Played: motion city soundtrack
6 Have you..
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: tucker
Have You Ever Broken the Law: yep
Have You Ever Been Arrested: nope
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no
Have You Ever Been on TV: yes
Have You Ever Been in love: currently
5 Things....
Things You're Wearing: cross necklace, "cook" bracelet from commander cool, deoderant, shirt and shorts.
Things You've Done Today: school, eat, tv, computer, powderpuff
Things You Can't Live Without: people, love, God, technology, and food.
Places You've Been: california, new york, wyoming, colorado, texas.
Favorite Things in NO order: kyle :), sports, family, friends, food
4 facts....
bands/musicians you like: motion city soundtrack, spill canvas, rise against, jack johnson
books you've read and liked reading: harry potters, any john grisham, stephen king, or james patterson.
favorite foods: mashed potatoes, fruits, peanut butter and jelly, scrambeled eggs, steak.
objects around you: cell phone, ipod, puppy, computer.
3....
People You Can Tell *Almost* Anything To: kyle, beary, lauren.
little words: what?
dreams: my dreams don't make sense.
2 Choices...
1. Black or White: black
2. Hot or Cold: cold
1 Thing You Want to Do Before You Die: be successful.
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| Even when your hope is gone, move along.. |
[Wednesday
Sep 21, 05 | 10:54pm] |
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bored |
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Move Along - All american rejects. |
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twenty facts about Kristen Nicole Menke-
1.i love music
2.i love pictures, but don't think i look good in any.
3.i love my boyfriend and my friends.
4.i'm really into american history.
5.i hate the reputation given to me because i'm a cheerleader and try my best to disprove it.
6.i love my church and everything about it. except pastor kern sometimes..
7.i like crowdsurfing and moshing.
8.i eat constantly, and don't get fat.
9.i'm usually nice to everyone, until you give me a reason not to be.
10.i am the same around everyone. i don't put on "masks" for different people.
11.i love joking around and being funny.
12.i'm trying out this whole "not drinking" thing, and i'm loving it so far.
13.my family is falling apart.
14.i have to go to a counselor. not my choice.
15.i have no boobs, and i'm happy with it.
16.i love most all sports and learning how to play them
17.i'm very very self consious.
18.i can't sing, but i do anyway.
19.i like volunteering and doing nice things for other people.
20.i keep my problems inside most of the time, then they all come out at once.
i shall tag: Samantha, Kayli, Amando, Crystal :)
same people as before.
what's with all this tagging stuff?
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| i knew it was too good to last. |
[Saturday
Sep 17, 05 | 11:29am] |
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 apathetic |
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swing life away - rise against. |
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tagged by the broniator:
ten things that make me happiest:
1)kyle
2)my mom and sisters
3)friends...which is hard right now.
4)acting crazy and doing things people don't expect of me.
5)meeting cool new people
6)sports
7)music
8)food
9)no drama
10)french vanilla cappichinos.
i tag :
crystal nicole
kayli lewiss
samantha
amanda overand.
___________
i knew it was too good to last.
last night...wow.
one little thing triggered so many problems i was covering up.i came home and just let everything out to my mom, and i just cried. i didn't realize how much i was pretending was alright, how much i was putting up with. no one knows either. people say they're here for me, but you're really not. i am being myself this year, and some people would rather push me away than put up with it. you're not my real friends. if i have to put on a front to be your friend, that's horrible and i don't want to be a part of it.
|
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| and i don't know why, i can't take my eyes off of you... |
[Monday
Sep 12, 05 | 2:35pm] |
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grateful |
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music |
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You and Me. - Lifehouse. |
] |
alright, so it's time once again for one of kristen's meaningful entries.
well this school year has to have been the best so far.
busiest, but the best. it's quite nice being busy a lot,
because it helps me prioitize what i need to, and figure
out what i really want and need to be doing with my life.
anyhow. this past weekend was amazing.
the football game was alright, but they're
pretty fun. i don't know if i'll be doing
cheerleading next year, but i've got a while
to decide that.
saturday i went to rock the universe with my youth group + bronwen. wow. it was basically amazing. i really needed a day away from everything just to hang out with people who don't know or aren't a part of my drama in my everyday life. from yelling to random people ("HEY I LIKE YOUR DOG!"),to asking kids for band-aid's..:) it was a blast. me and bronwen moshed and i even crowdsurfed. did i say i had an amazing/wonderful time yet? anyway. relient k is amazing, and M@ is dreamy..haha. but that's kaitlins man so i won't mess. :) we took some hillarious pictures, maybe they'll be up later. if i feel like it.
sunday i just had the perfect day with him.
i forgot how nice relationships can be, and i'm
glad i took a chance :) i don't regret it.
anyway. despite major life changes going on,
i remain happy. i look at people with problems
so much bigger than mine, and even though mine hurt,
it's no reason to stop my life and stop having fun.
i'm only a teenager once, and stuff happens.
school is going pretty good, not like anyone cares,
but oh well. AP US history is kicking my butt a lot,
but thanks to bronwen, we're getting through it lol.
lacrosse is tomorrow night. and i'm excited. i love it. and i've only played it once. it's just a great way to release energy. as stupid as that sounds, it's kind of an escape for me.
this year has been kind of a "breakthrough" year for me. i've had my share of problems already, but i'm doing what i want, wearing what i want, and acting how i want. and i've never felt more happy with it.
this entry was longer than i intended it to be, but oh well. i know no one reads these anyway, it's just a way for me to vent or just explain whats going on in my mind.
♥
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[Saturday
Aug 06, 05 | 7:00pm] |
okay i got a new phone today so i lost all my numbers
my number is still the same, but please comment and
leave me your number cause i don't have any :[
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| schedules! |
[Thursday
Aug 04, 05 | 6:37pm] |
DNN - scahill
AP American History - Montague
AP English Literature - Kendall
Trig/Stats - Anderson
TV Productions Assistant (if you have TV1, i'm in your class) -scahill
Physics 1 Hon - Halvorson
if you have any with me, let me know!!
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| I’ve never felt alone, until i met you. |
[Sunday
Jul 31, 05 | 11:27am] |
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Deep inside of you _ third eye blind |
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okay, so since everyone is doing their "end of summer closing entry" i figured i'd jump on the bandwagon.
well wow. for me, this summer has been by far the best yet. my summer didn't officially start until i left for wyoming though. so i guess i "wasted" a week or so of summer there, just counting down until the 11. wyoming was the most amazing trip i had ever taken. not just the trip and being in wyoming helping indians and others, but the people i went with ere amazing. i became such great friends with the "girls" (you know who you are), and we had a blast doing the most random things. after we got back, the month of june was about over, but we had already started counting down for snowbird, hoping that the next few weeks would hurry up and pass. between that time, i still did stuff with my youth group, but me and lauren started hanging out pratically everyday. me and her can have a blast doing anything. we have become addicted to the gym, and have adventures. i can talk to her about anything, and she is just one of the most amazing girls i know. Next came cheer camp. that was pretty fun, me and lauren did some stupid dances, and i got to know a lot of the new cheerleaders and better know the seniors.
a day after cheer camp was over, kaitlin spent the night here, and we had a blast, being obt whores, and staying up the whole night haha. the next day we started up to snowbird. all the girls went and we had a blast. we dyed our hair, woke up to the stars and stripes, snuck out to KFC, and just had a blast overall. that was just last week. it seems like forever ago. i havn't been home a lot this summer, but that's a good thing for me sometimes. i needed to get out of the house because things have gotten really tense around here.
this summer has completely changed me.
i have learned, i'm not a shape shifter. i don't want to be what everyone needs me to be.. a crying shoulder, a good friend, someone who will talk about someone to make you feel better, your drinking buddy, your staying in friend. don't get me wrong, i am here for my friends and everything, but i'm not going to change who i am to fit someone else's needs. i have realized who my "true" friends are this summer, and who my "high school friends" are. there is a HUGE difference to me. i'm dressing like i want and going to act how i feel. i'm not gonig to hold my feelings in like i have for the past two years. i've never been a very loud person about my problems, and that's not going to change, i'll just know who i can talk with. and to.
i got my liscense though. which is a milestone for me. honestly, weather parents like to admit it or not, you gain so much freedom. i'm going to do things right this year though. no drinking for me. maybe next summer. but for now, no. i know a lot of people think i can't do it, but whatever. i will show everyone i can.
this year. i'm not trying to be something i'm not. i'm being who i am. finally.
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| sky rockets in flight..pheww...afternoon delight! |
[Friday
Jul 29, 05 | 2:35pm] |
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afternoon delight - starlight vocal band |
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quick little update..
i got my liscense!! woo hoo i love it.
tonight...sleepover at kaitlins with kelsey too!!
yayayay can't wait!
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| bored bored |
[Tuesday
Jul 26, 05 | 2:13am] |
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indescribable - chris tomlin |
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RULES: write a statement intended for 14 people. never tell which one is for who.
1. we have gotten so close lately, and have gone on many crazy adventures, and are addicted to the gym.
2. you dyed your hair purple, and it looks awesome. we have hung out a lot this summer through church, but need to hang out more. and we were depressed when we couldn't go mountian boarding.
3. this summer we have become really close friends. we put on lots of make up and stayed up all night, and have had long talks about random things. we like superman underwear modeling, trashbags, plastic bags, and dying our hair. you always help me to do what i want and not care what others think! i love you!
4. you like getting harry potter read to you in different english voices, and you're really really funny. you fall asleep way too fast though!
5. i've known you since we were in elementary school, and we're pretty close. you are always there for me to talk to and vice versa. we also had a nakie barbie party too.
6. we're not so close anymore, but i've known you for a long time. we always have arguments about the stupidest things, and it makes us farther apart...:\
7. you own my body. haha you and i are friends, and have gotten closer through camp this summer. hopefully this year we can hang out more.
8. my big sister. you're crazy, and i love it. you do many crazy dances, including cheering with other teams over ours. :]
9. we aren't really really good friends, but i'd like us to be. you are soo freaking funny and cool...and you like taking pictures of me in sombreros and mullets. we definatly need to hang out more. and i dont' think that will be a problem, since we are both going to kill ourselves in ap american history next year.
10. hmmm irvana? you are amazing. and hillarious. you call me a tramp, and you say i smell like sperm and i'm a tampon. but you're a hibiscus, with TB. :] just kidding. A is definatly for awesome. and you bought us superman underwear and neato socks. we all love you irvana!
11. we havn't really hung out lately, which sucks, cause you're funny. not many people can break their necks on a slip and slide.
12. you're so nice to everyone, and have been my designated driver many times. i'm very thankful! we need to hang out sometime :]
13. wow. you quote lines from just about any movie imaginable, and are hillarious. you do kip's voice amazingly well, which is kind of scary sometimes lol
14. you have always been here for me to talk to, and we have had a nice talk one night. hopefully there will be more to come :]
guess what one you are in a comment! and try to guess who others are also! :]
man oh man i was bored.
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[Sunday
Jul 10, 05 | 12:27am] |
AHHHHHHH I FINISHED "RISE TO REBELLION"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
536 PAGES IN 5 DAYS
AHHH YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYAA
sorry i'm a little excited
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| bored bored |
[Thursday
Jul 07, 05 | 12:09pm] |
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that's when i love you - phil vasser |
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fun
wow. coooooooool lol. i guess it's true
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sunkissedbabie's journal
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